I've spent the morning cleaning out my room, old purses, and my book shelf. I came across some photobooth strips from my trip to CA in december. I keep all of these strips in a photo album, so naturally I took the old album out to put them away. Unfortunately, I came across old diary entries and pictures of my ex. It is weird how much love I used to have for this person, and now I have so much disdain for him. It really sucks that at this point I can not look back at those pictures and feel any happiness or even empathy. I so want to take them out and throw them away, but I feel like if I keep them, when I am 50 I might not hate him anymore, or at the very least I can warn my daughter of unavoidable heartache she will encounter. I have officially organized the remains of my life in CA. All photos, awards, letters, souvenirs are taped to the photo album. It is super metaphorical and easy to say that whats left is half an album to fill with my life here, but it's true. I have started collecting other things to tape into the album, hopefully I wont want to burn them in 5 years.  I hope one day I can look back on my past relationship and be happy, but at this point there is only the faint sound of my future self telling me I may regret destroying evidence of my past life.

If I sound dramatic, it is because I have also been reading Simone De Beauvoir's memoir all morning.