It is hard to describe how unbelievably empty I can feel when I don't have close friends around. I have recently been super down because I feel like, besides Scott and a few of his guy friends, I do not have anyone close to laugh and girltalk with. I really miss my girlfriends, it's so clear why and how girl best friends are so important for a healthy sense of self. I just cried to myself walking home from the coffee shop. I walked through the farmers market, full of smiling best friends, or maybe just people, but I could not enjoy it. Half way home I called Pappas, and just let it all out. It felt like a tidal wave, and so relieving to connect/ hear a voice that  I love so dearly. I need to call everyone more, I am beginning to feel invisible and irrelevant.  I am also sad because I haven't found a close girlfriend in Gainesville, it is so hard! It is probably me, but I just wish I didn't have to put all the effort into it. I want to walk into a group of girls and just have that connection, the "where have you been all my life," I know that has to exist! At least Sara and Holli will be here in a month!